Every morning, Bracken wakes me up. As soon as I open my eyes, his whole face lights up and he gets a radiant spark in his eyes. (What a great welcome to the day!) He is so happy to see me and is so excited to start a new day. It takes me a little longer to have the same enthusiasm because I am still a sleepy head- slowly opening my eyes and awakening in my own time. He tells me he needs me to take him to the potty and patiently waits for me. I get up, scoop him up in my arms, and we go and sit on the toilet together. Bracken loves being on the potty! He gets the biggest smile on his face while he sits in front of me. He takes his morning poop while chattering away and laughing (he really enjoys this morning ritual.) I make the cueing sounds while he goes. (I have two different cueing sounds- one for pee and one for poop.)
Then, throughout the day, we continue to go to the potty. We go every time he wakes up from a nap, whenever he 'tells' me with his noises or body language, or just when I get a feeling that he needs to go. We have many days where all of his poops are in the potty (and lots of pees, but not all) and other days where the vast majority are. It keeps getting better with time, as we continue to get more in tune with each other. Bracken is a little over 5 months old.
Does this sound amazing? I know! It sounded amazing to me too. But it's completely ordinary in many parts of the world.
When I was pregnant, our friend Gillian gave us a book called 'Diaper Free! The Gentle Wisdom of Natural Infant Hygiene' by Ingrid Bauer. I was so grateful for the gift and was very curious about it, but was super busy and didn't get around to reading it. I wondered about it because I knew other friends had done it. I knew it didn't mean letting your baby pee and poop all over the house, right? But what did it mean? I wasn't sure.
When Bracken was about 3 and a half months old, I got out the book and read it whenever I got the opportunity (mostly while he nursed and on occasional car rides while Jeff drove.)
Here's what I wrote about it in Bracken's Journal when I had just started the book:
Saturday, January 29, 2011
On Thursday afternoon I started reading a book called 'Diaper Free.' So Friday morning I brought you to the potty and made the sounds. In the beginning of the day you had already gone pee three times and poo two times in the potty! How exciting!
Today I was much more intensive. I kept a cloth diaper underneath you and brought you to the potty every time I saw you going. You were dry and free all day long and you loved it!
Your dad and I are learning to pay attention to your signs when you need to go.
I'm not that intensive every day and we are not 'diaper free' yet. I've been integrating what I've learned from the book into our lives slowly and letting it unfold naturally. I tend to get the zest to be "perfect" and set high expectations for my accomplishments. But this process with Bracken has been teaching me so much. It's about letting go of control, being relaxed and easy going about it all. If I miss a poop or pee, I say "oh well" and make the sounds while he goes. We typically use cloth diapers during the day (while bringing him to the potty regularly.) I really love it when he goes in the potty and we can keep using the same dry diaper throughout the day. I like to give him diaper free times throughout the day also, where I lay him on a cloth diaper or put one underneath him while nursing him or carrying him around. At night time, we use biodegradable disposables from a company we love. We do this because they are super absorbent so he sleeps more comfortably and a lot longer. (Cloth diapers get uncomfortable the moment they are wet.) And to be honest- I need all the sleep I can get these days!
There are many terms for the "diaperless" system, including- Natural Infant Hygiene and Elimination Communication (EC). We have kind of been creating our own version of it day by day.
What I absolutely love about this is that Bracken and I's bond has deepened even more. Since he was born, I have been paying attention to his communication. (When he wants to bed fed, burped, snuggled...)
I always knew he was communicating his needs to me, but I didn't always know quite what they were. After reading the book and realizing that a lot of his communication was about his elimination needs, something really clicked for me! I was able to discern his different communications and what they meant so much more easily. He was relieved that I was understanding his needs better and I could see it in his eyes. We are strengthening our teamwork.
We have a few different positions on the potty. Sometimes he sits in front of me. This is the one we always use for the morning poop. This position is nice because it's relaxing and comfortable. We can sit patiently and he can take his time to go and he likes that. Other times during the day, I hold him over the potty or hold him gently sitting on the toilet seat. I'm getting a feel for it. Sometimes I would take him to the potty and he didn't go, then I'd take him away and a moment later he'd go. I realized I needed to wait longer at times. I'm getting a "feel" for it more and more with time if I need to wait a little longer or if he isn't interested and doesn't need to go. He pees a lot so I only catch some of those, depends on the day. I have recently discovered a sound he sometimes makes when he pees. I love learning these things.
Sometimes I take him to the potty and he goes because he knows what the potty is all about and/or he knows my cueing sounds and what they mean. Sometimes I have a feeling he needs to and bring him, then he goes. Sometimes I can sense it from his body language. In the beginning, we ran the faucet a few times and that usually inspired a pee spree.
I never thought about what cueing sounds to make, they just popped out of my mouth naturally when we started. Admittedly, the one for pooping is pretty funny- it sounds like a farting sound. (And silly fun people who want to be involved can make the sound from the other room- it's sure to bring some good laughs.) The one for pee sounds like 'sss.'
Being relaxed is so important. I've invited friends to watch before and sometimes Bracken won't go if there is too much activity distracting him (same with nursing.) He needs his privacy. He needs it to be quiet. He needs me to patiently wait while he relaxes and goes. And when we go to a new environment and use the potty there, it takes him a little longer to relax than when we are at home.
Natural Infant Hygiene has changed our life in amazing ways.
Bodily functions are natural, healthy, beautiful! It feels good to go! Let's celebrate this with our babies and make it fun and enjoyable.
If you are interested in doing this, you might like it because it will strengthen your bond with your baby and it will also strengthen your intuitive skills. (Trusting your intuition is essential in being a parent!) You will teach your baby to honor their bodies' needs in the moment. You will be more in tune with their health by knowing how often they go and how they respond to different foods. And you will get so much more satisfaction from it then from changing a diaper. As an added bonus, it's better for the environment too.
These pictures of Bracken are from a few weeks ago.
"This is Awesome!!"
Also, here is a support group and information online:
Diaper Free Baby
Here's what it says on their website:
"Elimination Communication (EC) is NOT potty training. It is a gentle, natural, non-coercive process by which a baby, preferably beginning in early infancy, learns with the loving assistance of parents and caregivers to communicate about and address his or her elimination needs. This practice makes conventional potty training unnecessary.
Parents and caregivers who practice EC are often surprised by just how quickly they begin to experience clear and consistent communication with their infant; next to this, early potty independence is seen only as a frequently-occurring side benefit. Many EC'ing families experience first-hand what families in traditional cultures around the world have known for centuries: that by the age at which American parents are told to watch for supposed signs of "readiness" for toilet-learning, their children have already achieved toilet independence."
Do any of you have experience with 'Natural Infant Hygiene'?
I would love to hear from you!
Do any of you have experience with 'Natural Infant Hygiene'?
I would love to hear from you!
10 comments:
I have experience doing this with my two youngest children (ages 5 and 10 months). I think that ages 3-7 months are the greatest most successful times of ecing. Ages 7-12 months are so are a bit more challenging. I think this is because there are so many new things to communicate once babies become mobile and start exploring in a different plane of existence. Also, many babies will start exploring solids during this time. With my two eced children, they were very uncomfortable being wet or with the sensation of needing to pee and they communicated well to me their desire for a potty tuntiy. My 10 month old is now so curious and constantly exploring that she doesn't seemed phased by the wet diaper and usually doesn't tell me. I mostly use timing now with her, but we have a lot more wet diapers during the day. Around 5 months, it sounds like we were having a similar experience to what you are having now. With my middle child, around 14 months maybe, things really started picking back up and I think he was completely out of diapers around 20 months both night and day. At this time of many misses, I am grateful for all of the successes. I know that my daughter has not lost the sensation of what it feels like to eliminate and to me that is the one of the key elements of doing this. It made the transition to no diapers pretty effortless in the long run. And it is amazing communicating on that level with your children. We will always do ecing (if any more children are in our future). It is really amazing and I am glad I am getting to experience it with some of my children. I had no idea it existed with my first child and when I reflect back, I think some of his discomfort in the early days was because he needed to eliminate and I wasn't conscious of it.
Oh my, how cute is he on his potty!
His smile warmes my heart and soul.
Thank you for posting such sweet moments.
Big Hugs,
Allison
good for you mama! this is one area i wish i had known more about when my son was tiny. while i have always been very aware of his elimination and we've always dealt with it by promptly removing a cloth diaper, there is no match for diaper free. i think it is an amazing, and yet totally natural (as in, why didn't i think of it instinctually? lol) way to go. the communication aspect is so great for building that attachment/trust with your little one! :) (that is a super cute picture!!!)
So glad you are doing EC! I was too overwhelmed when I had my baby to do EC. He was a hard baby (lots of colic) and I couldn't add another thing to the "list" In retrospect, of course, and knowing what I know now, I would have done it. I have a suggestion, if you are interested, for night. We used fleece liners that keep them drier when wet and wool covers that breathe (and catch any leak imaginable!) We had him in bed with us (still do!) and really didn't want leaks and I found that wool is the way to go. You can knit these covers yourself! There are lots of patterns online (I like this one: http://youjustgottakeepknittin.blogspot.com/p/what-is-no-excuses-thursday.html ). Thanks for your great post, I'll pass it along to anyone I know who is considering EC!
K
This is wonderful! I did use EC with my oldest child, once she started walking (~11 mo). She caught on right away, and was out of diapers by 22 months. We used the Psssssss sound for pee and "puh puh puh" (the sound of the letter p repeated)for poop. She loved to walk our dog with me as a toddler, and would make the sounds as the dog did her business - I really think that helped her get the picture!
We didn't use EC as much as we did with my daughter though we went diper free as much as possible - both with our nanny (who was so awesome and really into attachment parenting) and whenever we were at home, and he started sitting on the Bjorn potty as soon as he was walking (watching big sister do it is a great help!). He was out of diapers by around 26 months.
I never used rewards or charts with either of them, just watched for signs of potty readiness, stayed diaper free as much as possble, and when they expressed real interest in being done with diapers, we just switched to undies.
There are windows of time when it's much more effective than others, and parents with "older babies" shouldn't be afriad to give it a try! I think children have great awareness about them, and are capable of much more than adults usually think they are! EC is a great example of that. Way to go Bracken!!
*Awesome* post Taryn! Yay for NIH! I love how Bracken clearly gets a kick out of his toilet time :)
Thanks for sharing your experience!!
Thank you everyone for your comments!
Sara- Thank you for sharing your experience. Bracken is teething right now and on the days when he is more uncomfortable, he's not as excited about being on the potty as usual. I've heard the mobile stage is a little more challenging. Nice to know other mamas I can talk to about it! :)
Allison- Big hugs back to you!
mb- Thank you for your beautifully supportive words!
K- So nice to hear from you! I completely understand the being overwhelmed part.
Are fleece liners super absorbent? I have a wool diaper cover for him and I love it. It works great. He sleeps with us too. I am more concerned about him staying dry so he'll sleep longer, than about leaks. I need as much sleep as I can get. :)
Thanks for your comment!
Kelly- I love to hear stories of people starting EC when their babies were a little older! That's awesome! I feel it's never too "late" to start doing it, as some books suggest.
I love the fact that you made the sounds while the dog went. Great idea.
I have a bjorn potty on my wishlist. :)
"I think children have great awareness about them, and are capable of much more than adults usually think they are!" So true!! I love that!!
Thanks Lindsey!! :)
Wow! I was moved to comment because I had not heard of this method and I enjoyed learning more about it, thank you for sharing. I am always so grateful when women share their knowledge with others, most of the wonderful things I have learned in life have come from people telling their stories!
Thanks Aja! (Beautiful name by the way.) Hope this will be helpful for you. :)
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